8/18
2011
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Let’s Send Bruno to Mars
Bruno Mars, overnight pop sensation famous for such hits as “Just the Way You Are” and, most recently, “The Lazy Song,” is the worst thing to ever happen to the music industry. Yeah… I went there. Deal with it! Maybe some of you have fallen for his clearly doctored voice, empty lyrics, and, for lack of a better word, all around doucherness, but I see the truth and I’m here to set you all straight.
Peter Hernandez (Mars’ real name) was born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii, which means he probably plays the ukulele. I’ve learned many things up to this point in my life and one of the most important lessons is that only roughly 20% of individuals who play the ukulele are good people. The other 80%, are pompous assholes who wear a lot of hats and think that playing the ukulele somehow makes them more interesting than the rest of us. Fun fact: It doesn’t! If my suspicions are correct and Mars does indeed play this monstrosity of an overused instrument, strike 1. If he doesn’t play the ukulele, he does still wear an obscene number of fedoras, which is fucking annoying, so strike 1 is still in effect.
The following is an excerpt from Mars’ “Grenade”
To give me all your love is all I ever asked. ’Cause what you don’t understand is, I’d catch a grenade for ya. Throw my hands on the blade for ya. I’d jump in front of a train for ya.
Can someone please explain to me how jumping in front of a train would ever be of any help? When would the situation ever arrive that he would have to jump in front of 5,000 ton vehicle in order to prove his affection for a woman? This song literally makes no sense, yet, for whatever reason, was on the radio eight times a day for like 6 months. Please, Bruno, feel free to catch that grenade. You’d be doing us all a favor. Strike 2.
You might be wondering where Hernandez’s stage name comes from. ”Bruno” was a childhood nickname given to Hernandez by his father because of his resemblance to wrestler Bruno Sammartino. ”Mars” was added because, and I quote, “I felt like I didn’t have [any] pizzazz, and a lot of girls say I’m out of this world, so I was like I guess I’m from Mars.” [rap-up.com] This speaks for itself. Strike 3.
As you can see, Bruno has disgraced not only the music industry, but any extraterrestrial beings that may inhabit our neighboring planet, Mars. If I never hear his awful voice again, it’ll be a blessing, but knowing American radio, I will undoubtedly suffer through an onslaught of his hollow tunes for the next year and a half, before he is inevitably phased out and replaced by the next talent-less moron to get lucky and make it big. For now, enjoy the ride Bruno. We phased out Pluto’s legitimacy and Mars should be next.
7/30
2011
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I went shopping with a friend yesterday and discovered that a new fall trend is proving to be much bigger than I had anticipated. Every store we walked into featured racks and racks of a print style I don’t think I’ve ever seen gain so much mainstream success. A print that Pocahontas herself made famous, the Native American. That’s right, Native American inspired prints are poping up everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. From sweaters, t-shirts, jackets, accessories, even shoes, Navajo, Cherokee, and an array of other “tribal” prints, as the fashion world seems to have labeled them, are one of the coolest new trends in today’s market.
If you’re not familiar, Native American prints have a sketchy feel to them, and no I don’t mean sketchy as in dark alley behind a seedy bar sketchy, but sketchy like a rough drawing. These prints also feature bold, thick lines and very broken shapes. They usually come in more earthy or dark, muted colors, but lately, bright colors and more modern color pairings, such as high contrast mixes, are becoming more accessible. These prints often also feature images of nature and animals, but in an abstract manner featuring more shapes than literal, organic features.
This is a trend that has been steadily growing, with similar prints appearing last winter, but it has really taken off lately. This look has fall written all over it because tribal prints, with their thick lines and dark tones, feel heavy. They’re not the sort of thing you’d want to wear in the spring, but more of a cozy, warm look, perfectly suited for autumn. This also seems to be a print that has been a favorite among bohemian dressers for years, a style that has been getting a lot attention lately. I would congratulate the boho crowd, but they’re probably too loopy off the peace pipe to appreciate my shout out.
I love culture inspired looks, whether it be form fitting Asian silhouettes or eccentric and colorful Indian embellishments, and now tribal prints have caught my eye. It’s great when we can pay respect to another culture through our clothing. We do owe the Native Americans after all. Remember all that stealing of their land business? Yikes!
Here are some of my suggestions on how you can incorporate this powerful look into your wardrobe this fall.
1.) I don’t suggest mixing tribal prints. Most pieces with these prints are elaborate and detailed, so they will be draw plenty of attention, which means you should keep them as a focal point for your outfits. If you want to wear a tribal inspired top, then make sure the rest of your look is simple and clean. Pair a colorful tribal design sweater with simple black or brown jeans.
2.) If you’re a bit overwhelmed by these prints, no worries. Tribal designs are all over accessories. Start with just a wallet, purse, or scarf, then work your way into the larger pieces.
3.) The Native Americans didn’t wear tailored, polished garments, so why should you? Tribal prints are meant to be worn loose and casual. Try an oversized frock or jacket with these prints. Anything overly fitted will seem a bit odd. Use the above grey Jacquard wrap from Levi’s as inspiration.
4.) Don’t go overboard! If you love this trend as much as I do, you might want to cover yourself in feathers, furs, and tribal prints, but wear too many Native American inspired pieces, and you risk looking like Sacajawea on an expedition to the west. Stick to one main tribal piece per outfit.
5.) I only talk about gender neutral trends on this blog, so fellas, this is definitely a trend you can get behind too. Try out a tribal print henley, like this Chippewa henley from Lucky Brand featured above, and pair it with a pair of dark wash jeans for a rugged, masculine look.
There you go. Simple, easy steps to adding a lively, spirited look to your fall wardrobe. Oh, and being that I live in southeast Michigan, I feel it’s important that I give a special thanks to the Hurons. Thanks for all your awesome Huron-ness and for undoubtedly starting this trend. You guys are the best!
6/15
2011
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“Super 8” is Out of This World
I never would have thought that a sci-fi alien flick could move me. I mean, I was literally brought to tears at the emotional climax of this powerful film. And yet, I suppose “Super 8” isn’t really a movie about an alien at all, but the story of a young boy who has to learn to let go.
For those of you not familiar with the plot of “Super 8,” which, if you’ve ever seen one it’s vague previews wouldn’t be all too surprising, it follows a young boy named Joe growing up in the late 1970’s. In the opening scene, we learn that Joe’s mother has recently died and now he is left alone with his father whom he feels completely distant to. One night, Joe and his rag-tag group of friends (a “Goonies”-type of crew) set out to film a scene for an amateur zombie flick they’re filming at a local train station. The group witnesses an enormous train crash with catastrophic effects. Soon after, odd occurrences begin to spring up in Joe’s small Ohio town, such as electronics and machines mysteriously vanishing, every dog in town fleeing the area, and strange disappearances of local townies.
“Super 8” never gets stingy on laughs, surprises, and touching moments. Director J.J. Abrams’ signature style jumps from the screen through elaborate and perfectly executed action scenes that leave you breathless. Train cars flying through the air, fiery explosions lighting up the screen, and unbelievably realistic imagery of fantastical creatures will astound you. Unlike most of Abrams’ previous works, however, “Super 8” has something even more spectacular… heart.
With Steven Spielberg lending his wisdom to the film as producer, “Super 8” captures the frailty and hardship that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Joe is a broken child who grows throughout the movie and learns that life will continue to progress, despite the loss of his mother and it takes tracking down an alien visitor to discover this important coming of age lesson.
A truly beautiful cinematic endeavor that captures the spirit of classic, American film, “Super 8” is an unforgettable movie experience that needs to be seen in the theater to fully appreciate. It transcends boundaries, bringing an entirely new perspective on the science fiction genre. See “Super 8,” in theaters now, to be transported to a surprisingly familiar world and to be a part of this summer’s most epic journey.
6/13
2011
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I thought the biggest dilemma a person could ever face on a Friday was Rebecca Black’s traumatic decision of whether to sit in the front seat or back seat of her friend’s car (she ultimately chose the front… in case you couldn’t remember). But now, Kathy Beth Terry, Katy Perry’s dorky, teenage alter-ego, has proven that Fridays can be a real bitch. Between taking scandalous photos that end up on the internet and having her embarrassing uncle, Kenny G, trash her house during an all-night, backyard rave, Kathy Beth Terry has brought Fridays to a new level.
In her brand-spanking new video for “Last Friday Night,” Perry pays homage to the teen flicks of the 80’s that we all love so dearly. This modern take on a John Hughes style movie features all of the classic 80’s movie features, such as a geek to chic makeover, an unrealistic portrayal of high school parties, and fully grown 20-somethings portraying prepubescent teenagers.
There’s plenty of celebrity cameos, including Darren Criss and Kevin McHale of “Glee” fame, which I take is Perry’s way of thanking “Glee” for giving her previous singles, including “Teenage Dream” and “Firework,” some extra attention, and flashback favorites, like Kathy Beth Terry’s parents, played by Debbie Gibson and Corey Feldman. She even got Hanson to show up!
It might be a little early to call this, but I’m predicting a much deserved Video Music Award for Perry from MTV this year. Anyone who can make Kenny G culturally relevant again, completely deserves an award. Well, what are you waiting for? Enjoy the party by watching the video above.
5/26
2011
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$1 Taco Tuesdays? I Have A New Favorite Day of the Week
When I heard that Sabor Latino in Ann Arbor has Taco Tuesdays my initial reaction was, “Taco Bell has Taco Everydays.” Let’s get real… $1 tacos? How great can a taco possibly be if I’m only paying a buck for it? Well my fellow cheap bastards, the answer is UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!
With the choice of either soft shell tortillas with onions and cilantro or hard shell loaded with beans, lettuce, tomato, sour cream, and cheese and piled high with your choice of meat or veggies, you’ll be shocked that they’re only a dollar each. Pair that with outdoor seating on a fantastic summer day and $2 shots of Jose Cuervo or a $2.50 Tecate, a Mexican beer, and your ready for the perfect evening in Ann Arbor. Plus, your wallet will probably jump out onto your table and do a Mexican Hat Dance with how happy it is at how much money you’re saving.
When you go, make sure you find me and say, “hi!” I’ll be in a food coma, in the corner of the restaurant, covered in tiny taco crumbs, begging patrons for an extra dollar.
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Some Kid Wins “American Idol”
In other exciting news, in the battle of teen country singer vs. teen country singer, teen country singer came out on top in this season’s “American Idol” finale. Shock and dismay are spreading through the masses like a wicked case of the Mondays!
OK, in all seriousness, I was excited for this season when I found out that Steven Tyler had risen from the dead to serve as a zombie judge and would be joined by J. Lo and her butt. Unfortunately, Randy Jackson would serve as the only seasoned judge, serving up sickening amounts of “dawg,” “dude,” and other overused catchphrases. Things were looking promising for a show that, I feel, is past its prime, despite high ratings. Who is watching this show anyway? I don’t think I know anyone who can name a single contestant since the days of Sanjaya, but I digress. I learned quickly that “Idol” would continue to disappoint, featuring another series of stale performances and “haven’t I seen this guy/girl already?” contestants. Even with Lady Gaga serving as a guest coach, the show still managed to bore me to sleep. Where’s the zest? The exciting performances? The originality?
And then… I found it. ”The Voice” on NBC. This show has everything! Stellar contestants, an entirely new judging format, actual performing, as opposed to standing in one place and singing to a camera, and even Christina! Gah! I’m gushing just thinking about how much I love this show. With such a diverse array of talent, I’m ecstatic to see where this show leads and, even more importantly, how the contestants fare after the show. Will we see a new star on the rise? I can’t think of an “Idol” winner who has created a solid career in music since Jordin Sparks, and that was in 2007. I guess we’ll find out.
Tune into “The Voice” Tuesday nights at 10/9c and moving to 9/8c on June 7th.
5/25
2011
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It’s official, I have a new favorite show, “Happy Endings.” This primetime addition easily makes ABC’s Wednesday night lineup the BEST of the evening, week after week. With shows like Emmy-winner “Modern Family” and the always original and hysterical “Cougartown” leading into this half-hour comedy, it’s no wonder why it was recently picked up for a second season.
I think Courtney Cox of “Cougartown” might find “Happy Endings” oddly familiar. 6 friends, living in the city, relationships, hysterical hijinks… I’m not even gonna say it. If you don’t know what I’m referencing, you clearly haven’t owned a television since the early 90’s.
Tonight’s season finale of “Happy Endings” was yet another spectacular episode where the gang wind up at an old friend’s wedding. Let’s just say things get interesting. It’s classic Shershow! (you’d understand that reference if you were cool and already watch the show) I can’t wait for season two to roll around, to continue to learn more about each character and see where their lives head, especially Max. I love that guy!
Check out “Happy Endings” at http://www.hulu.com/happy-endings
5/24
2011
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To Hostel or Not to Hostel? That is the Question
I know what you’re thinking… And yes, I saw the movie “Hostel” as well… And yes, it was incredibly fucked up… And yes, I cried too when that Asian girl jumped in front of that train, but hostels aren’t that bad. I SWEAR!
Hostels may have a bad reputation here in the US, but around the world, most especially in Europe, they’re honestly one of the most popular forms of lodging. They provide inexpensive, casual, temporary living arrangements for travelers looking to save their money. Glamorous may not be the best adjective to describe a hostel, but they are definitely an experience and I can’t stop recommending them to my friends. So, here’s how they work.
Hostels come in all shapes and sizes, some are old, renovated hotels, while others may just be a small house with live-in staff. Regardless of size, they all tend to operate similarly. Rather than staying in a private room with your own bathroom and a daily maid service, hostels have more of a dorm feel. Some offer only large rooms with multiple twin beds, often separated by a boy’s room and a girl’s room. You may have to share this space with other hostel guests traveling from around the world, but no worries, you’ll be provided with some sort of locker to securely store personal items. My suggestion, think of it like summer camp. Everyone is there to have fun, so there’s no reason to be nervous or untrustworthy of your fellow travelers. For a few extra bucks a night, many hostels now offer more private arrangements. My roommate and I visited San Francisco last spring and had a great room to ourselves.
Here’s where things get interesting. Most hostels have only a few bathrooms, which means you won’t be alone. You’ll most likely have to shower in a large, unisex bathroom. You’ll be able to snag your own curtain for some privacy, obviously, but this is a new traveling experience for many people. Again, almost everyone feels the same in these situations, so just relax. If you start freaking out that a Peeping Tom is right around the corner, you’re only going to stress yourself out. This is no different than your typical college dorm bathrooms. If it makes you feel any better, you’ll more than likely be surrounded by kids your own age. Hostels tend to attract a young demographic, which leads me to my next point, meeting new people.
I think what truly separates hostels from other forms of lodging is their casual atmosphere. I once stayed at a hostel in New Orleans that didn’t even lock the front door at nights because staff and guests were always hanging out on the front porch or lounging around the common space. Hostels cater to young people, many who are on extended trips, possibly taking a break from school to travel. With so many young people around, you can’t help but be social. Hostels love to throw parties for their guests with plenty of food and music. Take advantage of these gatherings to meet some interesting folks from around the world. Some hostels even offer group tours or outings for a minimal fee, which are also a fantastic way to connect with your fellow travelers.
With all that aside, there is one reason, bar none, why hostels kick stellar amounts of ass. I love to travel, but happen to be broke as a joke and hostels are cheap, and I mean CHEAP! Some charge as little as $20 a night; you can’t beat that. Like I said, they’re not glamorous by any means, but they can be a lot of fun. The India House, the hostel I used in New Orleans, had stair rails adorned with Mardi Gras beads and the rooms were all painted in bright colors with funky paintings of jazz musicians on the walls. The whole hostel had a festive, Creole vibe that made for an unforgettable experience. My friends and I saw all that NOLA has to offer, but managed to save our money. We didn’t have to worry about how much we were spending on food, shopping, and sight seeing because we had spent just over $200 for a five night stay… and that’s combined! Individually, we only shelled out roughly seventy-five bucks each.
I think it’s clear I’m a big endorser of hostels, but I do recommend that you do your research if you’re considering staying at a hostel on your next trip. Read reviews online of previous guests to get a better feel of what to expect at each hostel. Also, pay close attention to location. Some hostels may be in the heart of a city’s downtown area with all of the big hotels, but others are on the outskirts of town and you’ll want to make sure that you’re within walking distance of reliable public transportation. A hostel’s website may say they’re close to all of the big attractions, but Google maps may say otherwise. Be smart about your travels, and I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful adventure.
Check out this link to find a hostel for your next vacation: http://www.hostelworld.com/. Happy travels all!
5/22
2011
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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you’ve heard the chart topping “Rolling In the Deep” by Adele all over the airways. Adele is a true talent and I predict a long, rewarding career for her. She has a timeless sound, which is hard to find these days amongst all of the clutter of trashy club songs that seem to be hogging up the radio. I think pop music is supposed to be catchy and fun, but it doesn’t have to be shoved down our throats. Sorry Black Eyed Peas, but enough with the craptastic auto tuning and house beats. I want more soul! Sample this track, “Rumour Has It,” from Adele’s new CD “21” to see what I mean.
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5/21
2011
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"Sh*t My Dad Says" is a Must Read
Looking for a great summer read? Justin Halpern’s “Sh*t My Dad Says” is easily one of the funniest books you’ll ever read. Get ready for plenty of honest advice and fatherly love, laced between four letter words, insults, and nutty stories. One of my favorite quotes: “So, there you go. Your mother thinks you’re handsome. This should be an exciting day for you.”
